[align=center]I had to post this from MySpace and I hope the bold works because I will not re-do it.[/align]

Here is Episode 1 and you can discuss it here

SERIAL Episode One
Current mood: curious

"SERIAL" Episode One: The Pilot

*The scene begins as a tall, heavy man, James (Necro1476), is walking a new tenant around Bundy Complex and showing her around on his last day as landlord!
James- So, Mrs. (Im sorry what was your name)
Kaitlyn(Armybratkl)- Just call me Kaitlyn! I hate fucking formalities!
James- Alright! Kaitlyn it is. Bundy Complex has had a reputation for quality for sometime! We have only ten apartments here but I have always felt that a more intimate setting brings neigbors closer. You never know when you'll need your neighbor!
Kaitlyn- I have always managed just fine. I'll be as sociable as I can be. If they dont like me, fuck em! I pay my rent on time, I am never a problem and I dont fuck everything that walks so I never bring strange people up to my room! How many did you say were vacant?
James- Two are currently- 6 and 10! I felt I'd show you both of them and its customary to introduce yourselves to the neighbors. Something I like to do! I still can't believe I am quitting today. Handing the reigns over really. I found a job that excites me and those rarely come around. What do you do, Kaitlyn?
Kaitlyn- I do alright. I run "BLAST" sporting goods. Well I am a manager there anyway. I still have someone to answer to.
James- Well thats quite an accomplishment for a girl of..
Kaitlyn- 19! I grew up fast!
*As they are walking, they approach a couple with a baby (MarWash and Kcohan- Ryan and Kimmy)
Kimmy- Ryan, can't you even work a fucking stroller?
Ryan- I got it! I just have to get this thing to push upright and
Kimmy- (annoyed and fixs it herself) There! Can't you do ANYTHING right?
Ryan- Well- I almost had it.
Kimmy- ALMOST! God Ryan your life is nothing but almost. I'm surprised we conceived this child!
James- (walking up) Hello Ryan and Kimmy! Its my last day today!
Ryan- Yeah- Gonna miss you James! Every "Magic-The Gathering" game will always be something I'll remember, man!
*Kimmy shrugs, Kaitlyn immediately doesn't like her
James- And Ryan, your photographs are still some of the best I have ever seen! You should pursue that.
Kimmy- (interrupting) When there is time he will! Right now he has three mouths to feed, James.
Kaitlyn- (sizing her up) Thats ALOT of mouth to feed!
Kimmy- (irritated) Yes I suppose it is! Who are you? A maid?
Kaitlyn- I am the new tenant. Not much of a maid but I can sweep the floor with anyone! (looking at Kimmy)
James- Yes I am showing her 6 and 10!
Kimmy- (laughing) You dont want six! Fucking crackheads burnt that goddamn carpet up!
James- (Interjecting) We have since replaced all the carpeting and windows!
Kimmy- Seen alot of carpets, Katie?
Kaitlyn- The bitches I beat to the ground did!
James- (working in) Well, Lets go see them Kaitlyn! Nice to see you Ryan (after moment) and Kimmy!
Kimmy- Pleasure as always! C'mon Ryan, I'm fucking starving. I'd like some of that broiled chicken you do so well, babe! Change Harley's diaper would ya? I gotta take a shit!

*James takes her along to Apt. 6. A bare-chested man with shears is walking out (NickSeng).
Nick- Hey there Jim! Want to meet the new landlady. Quite a feisty one she sounds! Like that in a gurl!
James- Auntie comes highly reccommended! I am sure she'll treat you all as well as I've tried to!
Nick- Single gal too! I bet that box hasn't been opened in awhile. (Snickers) I might have just the thing for the broad. (Notices Kaitlyn) Oh hey Miss! Nick Seng here. I'm the loyal gardener. I take to whatever needs tended to round here!
James- (awkwardly) This is the new tenant, Kaitlyn!
Kaitlyn- Be careful where you stick those shears, Mr. Seng!
Nick- Always perfect with my aim, miss!
Kaitlyn- Funny. I see quite a few spots you've missed!
Nick- I'll get to them all- I always do!
James- (interrupting again) Let's show you the apartment!
Nick- (awkwardly) Well James..I kinda (pauses) I kinda let Sparkles (SparkleFarkle) sleep there again last night!
James- Nick, how many times have we went over this! That homeless woman always makes a mess and she gives me the creeps too!
Nick- She's quite good in the sack I might say!
James- I do aplogize for this Kaitlyn! Not the normal way I run things here!
Kaitlyn- Let her sleep! I think I am HIGHLY leaning towards number 10!
James- ( a little pissed) Surely. Well lets go look at number 10.
*JD, the highly sexed teenager who lived in 9, passes by, only in g-string, to go swim in the pool, noticing Kaitlyn right away!
JD- Well hello! I am JD. Longest resident currently. Not just a figure of speech either! Nice to meet you! *kisses her hand
Kaitlyn- (letting it slide) I am the newest resident. (looking down) Cold day today, isnt' it?
JD- It could always get warmer! (Winks)
James- Just wanted to say JD, I'm going to miss you. I trust everything (suggestively) is in order with you.
JD- Of course it is James! I'm never given nothing I can't handle!
Kaitlyn- That makes two of us! (clutches fists)
JD- So, I bet you're getting in Number 10. Glad we'll be so close. I'm in 9. If you need anything- a tour guide, some sugar, whatever it may be, you know where to find me, beautiful!
Kaitlyn- (with unsubtle sarcasm) Yes- I will remember that.
*JD does a backflip into the pool
*James thinks to self- "Damn will this girl make any friends?"
*James opens up 10 and they walk inside. Kaitlyn sees new carpeting, not many windows (which she likes privacy)
James- The remodeling in here is quite new!
Kaitlyn- (interrupting) I'll take it!
James- Great! Feels nice to bring one more in before I quit this.
Kaitlyn- I appreciate everything, James! I got it from here. I'll be bringing my stuff back tomorrow. Spending the night with my Mom tonight. Bitch is so emotional every time I make a decision. Love her all to fuck though!
James- Yep! (laughs uncomfortably) Are you sure you dont want to meet the others?
Kaitlyn- I'm afraid I might change my mind if I do!
James- I guess everyones just having a rough day. Well, que sera sera as Doris Day would say! Just love her!
Kaitlyn- Thanks! You've been an enormous help!

*As they part, Kaitlyn notices James go into JD's apartment looking angry. JD gets out of pool and follows quickly. As she makes her way out, she sees a girl in a Starbuck outfit (Of BSG) carrying groceries to Apt 1. She drops them all and starts crying.
Kaitlyn- (coming over to help) Hi! Need some help?
Greta- Oh God! I cant believe I'm fucking crying. I hate crying! This has just been the worst day ever. Thank You!
Kaitlyn- (picking up stuff for her) Looks like! I am actually the new tenant here. My name is Kaitlyn! I'll be in 10!
Greta- Oh! 10! Have some memories there. (sigh) Would you like a cup of coffee? I'd love to rant about my day with someone! I have some homemade chocolate chip cookies I made last night. (looking desperate)
Kaitlyn- I suppose I got a few minutes! (hears Kimmy screaming at Ryan in 2) (Helps her carry groceries in)

*When they walk in they startle a hot gal masturbating on the sofa to "Angel"
Greta- Jesus Jumped Up Christ! I'm sorry Em! Oh, this is so embarassing.
Em- (holding the vibrator) Fuck! (Runs for the bedroom) Goddammit Greta! You said you'd be gone ALL DAY! (runs to room)
Greta- (loud enough so Em could hear) Sorry! This day has sucked so badly!
Kaitlyn- I'm alright really! Couldn't live without mine!
Greta- (a little embrassed) She is going to kill me! This is so embarassing! Make yourself at home (pauses) on the other couch (slight laugh). I'll make us some coffee!
*Kaitlyn sees lots of David Boreanaz on the wall and a handsome man with R.I.P. above his picture and all the seasons to Stargate and Angel on the wall
Kaitlyn- I appreciate your kindness.
Greta- My names Greta, dear! Sorry if I forgot to say that. How do you take your coffee?
Kaitlyn- Black!
Em- (coming clothed from bedroom) I am sorry! A girl thinks shes alone and..
Kaitlyn- Not a problem! Honestly!
Em- (at Greta) I'd love some coffee too! Kinda dragging today. (At Kaitlyn) So are you a friend of Greta's?
Kaitlyn- Just met outside! I am the new tenant here as of tomorrow.
Em- Kick-Ass! I'm Emerald. Everyone calls me Em though. Have you met any neighbors yet? (laughs)
Kaitlyn- A few!
Em- Want the whole rundown- detail by vicious detail!
Kaitlyn- Couldn't hurt!
Em- (Quite pleased as if she loves telling this story) Well- as you can see- Me and Grets got 1. We love to go out on the town alot! Us gals can always find common ground usually. Grets just worries too goddamn much- thats all! I'm more the "fly by the seat of your pants" kinda bitch! (laughs) 2 has Kimmy and Ryan. I'd like them better if they could be a little quieter sometimes! That damn woman roars when she moans! (Laughs) They are a couple and have a screaming baby to match momma! But I like a tough gal. 3 is The Marks and Ashley! Mark vigil and mark something odd- dont remember. And Ashley- shes a pistol! They keep to themselves alot! Got a whole "Threes Company" deal going there I think! Could be wrong though! 4 is Lin and France! They are probably our best friends here- always go out on the town with us! Good gals! And France is a lesbian. Lin is just sexual period! (Laughs again).
Greta- (coming back with coffee) Here you go! (hands them their glasses and a cookie) So, Em, keep teling her. I love Em's explanation on things.
Em- 5 has got that rock band in it. Whats their name? "Amauriel and The Warriors"!
Kaitlyn- Don't think I heard of them! What kind of music?
Em- The loud kind! But good! (laughs) They dont preactice at night- for all our sakes. They're in and out most of the time anyway. They're all so cute though! 6 is bad news- cursed I think. Dont take that one!
Kaitlyn- I took 10. James was quite helpful already.
Em- I'll bet! Especially since..
Greta- (interrupting) Good coffee?
Kaitlyn- Yes! Go on, Em! (Drinks coffee)
Em- Well 7 has that bunch of school kids and that damn nanny! SO perky! Her name is Lauryn. She watches troubled kids and babysits litle Harly Quinn for Ryan and Kimmy too. A few kids there- Armaan, Oba, Hailies, Alex, Garrett, Jo and Wegie..they are something! . 8 is that weird guy, Ben. He's nice and all but he gives me the creeps. 9 is JD and his other roommate who got shipped to Iraq- Angelito! A couple of players indeed. Oh, and two other gals I see around alot are Hila and Ayn- always visiting the band and that Ben guy. Then theres the gardener Nick..I know him well..HUGE..damn..anyway. And now you're 10!
Kaitlyn- I am sure I'll meet them all in time! Great cookies, Greta! I must, however, excuse myself. I will be moving in tomorrow. I’ll pop over and say "Hi"-I promise! *Excuses herself
Greta and Em- Nice to meet you Kaitlyn! (When she leaves, they stare at each other suspiciously)
Greta- The fucking Comic-Con was a total disaster!! What do you think about her, Em?
Em- She maybe the one France was talking about. Ya think?
Greta- NO! Couldnt be!
*Kaitlyn begins to leave and sees a boy carrying a pouch on his back, in military uniform. He winks at her and passes by
Angelito- (hollering where JD may hear) THE WHORE IS BACK! HA HA! THE WHORE IS BACK!
*Kaitlyn walks on out and notices James leaving JD's apartment again, looking very nervous.

****COMMERCIAL********






James packs up his last bag, looks around the apartment, gets almost misty, takes a card out of his wallet that says "EmiliaRomagna Publishing". He smiles to self, puts the card back in his wallet and hears a glass break in the living room. He walks into the living room where Auntie is picking up the pieces of the glass she broke.


Auntie: (looking up) Oh, I am ever sorry, James. I have a habit of breaking things on accident. I can replace the cup.


James- Oh it isn't a problem. I have too many dishes as it is. (changes tone) This will be the last thing broken in this house tonight while I'm here. I'm really going to miss this place.


Auntie- Yes it's easy to get attached to things, isn't it?


James- It surely is. Well, have you met anyone outside since arriving?


Auntie- Haven't quite had the pleasure of meeting anyone just yet. I am sure I'll make fast friends with them all. (clenches teeth). After awhile, I am like everyone's Auntie. Wherever I go, a happy, loyal family ensues.


James- There is a quite a diverse group of people living in this apartment building. I have handpicked each one. It began with a young girl ten years ago trying to flee her abusive husband and ended yesterday with the new tenant, Kaitlyn! She has quite the interesting job. (laughs to self)


Auntie- Is your first tenant still here?


James- (taken aback) Unfortunately, no! She isn't with us anymore. (changing subject) JD is our longest tenant currently.


Auntie- JD..what does that stand for?


James- (laughs softly) He once said "Just Delicious". He is a good tenant. Always on time, Always there to help out.


Auntie- That is always good to know. Are there any last things we should go over, in particular? I assume you're leaving these furnishings for me.


James- Yes- I am not going to need them where I am going. I suppose I'll be on my way in a bit. I am going to go say goodbye to everyone and be on my way. I got my last two bags here. The movers took everything else yesterday.


Auntie- Where are you moving to, James?


James- Italy actually. Leaving the country. I got the dream job I always wanted and for once,I feel as if my dreams are going to come true- finally!


Auntie- ( a little disgusted with the sentimentalities) Dreams are dreams aren't they?


James- Well, I finally got mine. I just hope I find someone to share them with me. Bundy Complex has been fun but it was never my dream. You have to follow your dreams or life catches up too quickly and SNAP!


Auntie- (condescendingly) SNAP! So, you're off, are you?

James- Yes I guess so! I'm going to say goodbye to everyone. I suppose I am handing the reigns over to you, Auntie!


Auntie- (laughs a little) I will keep the ninnies in line.


James- Please do take care of them. They each have a different set of needs altogether. There is nothing like a diverse group of people to love. (notices her hurse outside) Wow- an actual hurse for a car. Haven't seen that since the "Six Feet Under" show.


Auntie- (annoyed) There is one I haven't heard before!


James- Well, it's interesting. (laughs) Well I guess I am off. (looks around apartment one last time) (to apartment) I'll miss you! (to Auntie) Well you have the address to send my checks too. Take care of my place for me, miss Auntie.


Auntie- I'll treat it like the sister you never had!


James- (hugs her) Always wanted a sister! (Auntie doesn't let him see the disgust all over his face) Well I am off then- again! (laughs)


*James departs the house.


Auntie- (dialing a number on her cell) (says to self) Pick up, Cocksucker! Pick Up! (answer on other end of "Hello") Glenn, so nice of you to be home THIS TIME! That motherfucker is gonna aphsixiate in that goddamn trunk. When are you coming over anyway? Auntie needs some cock!! Get your gay ass over here! (stares outside at the trunk of the hurse nervously) The fat man has sang and I need you HERE. (From phone- Glenn says "On my way, Auntie but its gonna be an hour or so. I have to go see Billy") Oh fuck! The bitch is in a coma. I know you love him and I know you want his medical bills taken care of, Glenn. So dont piss me off and dont be too long!! Love is love and lust is lust. So hurry over here and come fuck me!!!! (hangs up). (There is a knock at the door.) Oh Christ- who is it? COMING!


*She opens the door and sees Nick, sweaty, shirtless and carrying shears


Auntie- (quite bothered in a good way) Well, hello there! Must be awfully hot out there! (looking at his biceps)


Nick- Yes it is, maam! I wanted to introduce myself. I am Nick Seng. I tend to things around here.


Auntie- I bet you do, Nick! Would you like something to drink?


Nick- I am quite thirsty, maam! And you? (licks lips)


Auntie- I could use something down my throat as well. (strokes her throat)


Nick- (stumbling) Maybe I could come in and assist you, my lovely.


Auntie- We have about an hour! Come make it count for Auntie!!


Nick- Come is a word I dont take lightly, my Auntie!


*He comes in and she shuts the door.


*James knocks on Apt. 1 Greta answers as France is leaving.


James- Well, hello gals! I just wanted to say a proper goodbye. Hi, France!


France- (hugs James) It'll be a shame to see you go, James. I've been watching that new gal walking around here. Who the hell is she?


James- The landlord or the new tenant?


France- The new tenant. I've seen the landlord already. She looks like a mega bitch.


James- Auntie is alright! Just give her a chance. I'm know I am pretty irreplacable. (France shrugs) Auntie will do just fine though. And I don't think I have to tell everyone that the arrangements are still in place.


Greta- (gasping) Of course James! We'll miss you!


James- I wont be too far away.


Greta- Well, talk to you later France. I think I will take your advice on Freddy.


France- Damn well better! He doesn't appreciate you the way your friends do. You don't need some joker taking you out fucking putt-putt. How terrifically boring. I've had more interesting bowel movements!


Greta- So we're all still set for the girls night out Friday!


France- Wouldn't miss it Doll! (sneers) Goodbye James!


James- Tell Lin I said Bye. I know she's never home this time of the day.


France- I will let her know. (Hugs Greta) Bye Doll!


*France goes off to Apt. 4


Greta- Well, take care of yourself James. We will keep up our end of the bargain I promise!


James- I guess Em probably dont wanna say goodbye. I know we didn't share the kindest words last time.


Greta- Em is okay! She sometimes lets her emotions get the better of her. I'm sure it was nothing personal.


James- (all-knowingly) I'm sure! Goodbye, Greta. Until next time.


*Greta hugs him again and closes door. James walks over to Apt. 2 and knocks loudly.


Ryan- (opening door looking as if he wanted it to be someone else) Oh- hi James! SO you're leaving.


James- Yes, Ryan. I bet I know who you hoped I was.


Ryan- (looking behind his back for Kimmy and doesn't see her) Ummm..I was just wondering when Lauryn was bringing Harley back. No other reason.


Kimmy- (from bathroom) Ryan, come here!


Ryan- I gotta go James.


James- (handing him a number) I am not giving this to everyone but if you ever need a place to come, just give me a call, Ryan. Noone should have to put up with what you do.


Ryan- (takes number and hides it in his wallet under some cards) OK, James. Really, I'm alright!


James- Lauryn is a nice lady. Hope you two hook up. Take care! (hugs Ryan)


Kimmy- Ryan, GODDAMMIT! Am I talking to the goddamn wallpaper or what?


Ryan- Bye, James! I'll miss the "magic" games! Peace! (he shuts door)


*James walks over to 3. Knocks.


Mark (MarkVigil)- (answers door) James! So you're finally getting out of this place, huh?


James- Looks like!


Mark- I'm gonna miss you! (hugs James) I hope this new lady is alright.


James- Auntie seems quite interesting. After a few weeks, you probably wont even think about me.


Mark- Are you kidding, you big bear? There is noone quite as fun to take to the clubs as you!


James- So, I know you hate when I bring it up but are you ever gonna tell Marcus what you want to tell him?


Mark- Let's not go there today, James! You and I both know Marcus is straight. I have accepted that. When are you going to?


James- I'm just saying!


Ashley- (coming from kitchen) Now James- I know you aren't going anywhere without saying goodbye to me! (hugs him)


James- Now take care of those two for me! You know they need it.


Ashley- Don't I? (laughs) All those people that say gay men are more cleanly. Such bullshit! (teases Mark) nah- there alright. I'll wash their dirty underwear. I dont care! I'll miss you James!


Marcus- (coming from hall) I thought I heard Ashley's big mouth talking to James. (laughs)


Ashley- Better to have a big mouth than be a big ass. (Makes laughing face at him)


Marcus- (giving Ashley a peck on the cheek) You know you love us! (to james) So you all packed up, jamesy?


James- Yeah- just making the last rounds. Kinda sad really! I will miss the place but better things await me.


Ashley- Yes they do! I am so proud of you James.


Mark- (fixed intently on Marcus, then comes to) Take care of yourself overseas, James!I hope Italy is ready for you.


James- Well if not, I will make it adjust! (Laughs)


Marcus- You can hack anything, James! Have a little faith, brotha!


James- Oh, I almost forgot. Ashley, you should introduce yourself to Kaitlyn- the new tenant. She'll be here tomorrow. She reminds me of you.


Ashley- Poor girl! I pity her already.


James- No, she's great! Just like you! Give her a chance.


Marcus- (slyly) Well you know I'll give her a chance. (winks)


Ashley- Who haven't you given a chance?


Mark- (to Ashley) Marcus isn't that bad, Ashley!


Ashley- I'm just kidding, Linus! (pinches his nipple)


Mark- I HATE when you call me Linus.


Ashley- Just replace the blanket with a set of freeweights!


Mark- I'm going to take a nap. (hugs James again) I'll miss you! (Cries)


James- I'll miss you too, Mark! (kisses his cheek)


*Mark heads off.


Marcus- Well, I gotta get back to my movie, James. I got fucking three for the video review tomorrow and I am barely even started.


Ashley- Critics? (rolls eyes) Bye James! (Hugs him again) (She shuts door, blows a kiss at james as it shuts)


James- (to self) I hope I am doing the right thing!






**********COMMERCIAL***********




- The mailman comes walking up to approach James.


James- (happily surprised) QB, your rounds are already long over!


QB- Yes they are but I had to make a stop. You said you'd be leaving about this time. Didn't want to miss you!


James- I appreciate it. I am definetly going to miss you alot. Us big men gotta stick together!


QB- Well there is certainly noone in this godforsaken place I'd rather have a cup of tea with. You will be sorely missed, sir!


James- (hugging QB) This is so much harder than I even envisioned.


QB- So is that hot ass gardener around today?


James- I didn't notice him yet but he's around. He lurks anyway.


QB- He can lurk around me anytime he wants! (Laughs)


James- So you met anyone new lately?


QB- Are you kidding? I scare all the men away. Just too much to love I guess.


James- There is certainly alot to love! (changing subject) Have you met Auntie, the new landlord, yet!


QB- Saw her walking around the other day. I had to double-take. I was like "When did Cruella De Vil walk up in this fucking place". (Laughs)


James- (laughs out loud) There is a resemblance! She seems (pauses uncomfortably) alright! You can never judge a book by it's cover.


QB- I dont know! That is one mean looking novel!


James- (laughs) I'm gonna miss you, QB!


QB- I'll watch over them for you. Oh- and if you see Lin, she needs to come to the post office and pick up her order. She is never home for me to deliver it. And she knows SHE has to sign for them things.


James- Lin is quite the sex-toy auteur!


QB- I'd say! I would take some of the merchandise if I were a less honest man.


James- Good thing you are! (Hugs QB)


QB- Well I'm off! So many places to go. (Pauses) Yeah Right! Bye Now!


*Qb goes off and James knocks on Apt. 4


France- (answering the door) James- Again! (Phi, her cat, jumps for the door)


James- Hello Again!


France- (growls at Phi) That is the one goddamn pussy I cant calm down! I thought we already said "Goodbye"


James- Yes- I know. QB just stopped by and told me to remind Lin her order is in. That's all.


France- Qb, huh? I like that bloke. Some heavy set men are jovial. (Stares down James)


James- (sarcastically) Well nice to know we are parting on good terms, France!


France- Well, me- I am perfectly fine James. it's that poor little girl who isn't.


James- I think this conversation is over, France. Nice knowing you. Don't bother to write.


France- Goodday, James. Don't get the shit kicked out of you by some husky Irishmen, now!


James- I can take care of myself.


France- Yes, yourself! All you ever knew how to take care of.


James- Bye then! Tell Lin I will miss HER! (walks off)


*France slams door shut


*James knocks on 5


Elm- (answers door looking stoned) James! We were just jamming man. Wanna come toke up a bit?


James- No I'm actually leaving today. Didn't Grace tell you?


Elm- No man! Noone tells me shit.


James- Well you have a new landlord now. Her name is Auntie.


Elm- Auntie! (laughs) What the fuck kinda name is that?


James- Hers! Amauriel in?


Elm- Where else? Fucker barely leaves the house except for a gig. (Hollers "Ammo- get your ass out here")


Ayn- (passing by kitchen) hey James! Take care of you.


James- Back at ya Ayn!


Elm- I tell ya Ayn can bang them fucking drums but (whispers) Can't cook for shit! (Laughs)


*Amauriel comes out, shirtless.


Amauriel- James! So todays the day.


James- So it is.


Amauriel- Don't be pissed man! I dont have that money today. I swear though if you leave me an address, I'll get it to you as soon as I can.


James- Fuck, Amauriel! I am leaving TODAY! *Elm wanders off


Amauriel- I'm sorry, James. I don't have it today.


James- (in sterner tone) Well I best get it very soon. I'd hate to have to go pay a visit to a certain someone. (With dark look)


Amauriel- I understand! Just give me the address man. You'll get it by this time next week.


James- You best make it a priority. *hands him a card with the address* I'd hate to see you play your last tune, Amauriel!


Amauriel- (nervous) Certainly. I will get right on it James. (starts to shut door) Goodbye, then!


James- I'll be looking for it. I can always take a quick flight back. (walks off)


*Amauriel shuts door


*James walks past 6, stops a moment, looks sullen and continues walking.


(Meanwhile In Aunties Apt)


*Auntie is riding Nick's cock like a bullrider!


Auntie- Son of a motherfucking bitch! Hit that spot, motherfucker!! Get it! Get it!


Nick- It is my pleasure to service you, maam!

</P>

Auntie- You gotta get me off, asswipe! Glenn will be here anytime now!


Nick- Who is Glenn?


Auntie- Glenn is my better half.


Nick- (shooting his load) I beg to differ!! AHHHHHHH Fuck!


Auntie- It's really a partnership of convenience. Oh, Oh *Cums YES! YES! GODDAMIT YES! There! *Pulls out a cigarette for the two of them, lights em


Nick- I normally dont smoke, maam. But after that pussy, I need one!


Auntie- I think I could trust you. Could I trust you, Nick?


Nick- Sure! Give me some more of that pussy when I want it and you can trust me, maam!


Auntie- Good then! I need some assistance when Glenn arrives. I've got some baggage in the trunk I need a big strong man to help carry inside.


Nick- Well I could definetly be that strong man! (Smiles, in love with himself)


Auntie- Play your cards right and your salary will be far more than any typical gardener ever dreamed of having. (Looks at his cock) And we know you are NO typical gardener!


Nick- No I am not Maam! (gleefully) So what's in the trunk?


Auntie- Let me tell you all about it!


*Outside, James knocks on 7. Garrett opens the door.


Garrett- Hey James! All packed up?


James- Yes, I'm all ready to go. Wanted to say my goodbyes first.


Garrett- (Hollers to Lauryn) Lauryn, James is here!


Oba- (running out) James- Fucker! I'm gonna miss you! *jumps up in james arms


James- (holding balance) I knew you would Oba!


Garrett- Retard! He's always jumping up on things. *hits the wall


Lauryn- Garrett, it is your time to sit down and be calm.


Garrett- Bye James! *Walk off pissed


Lauryn- (holding Harley Quinn) James, can we talk outside? I need a moment.


James- Certainly, Lauryn!


Lauryn- (to everyone) I'll be right back! Be Good!


Garrett- (After door shuts) Let's go beat Armaan again! (Laughs)


Oba- Not right now! (Laughs loudly) He's fucking! (laughs hysterically)


Garrett- Really? Let's go watch!


*They go to the back bedroom and try to peer under the door and listen


*Inside the bedroom Alex, Hailies and Armaan are having a threeway. Armaan is getting Hailies from behind as she blows Alex.


Garrett- I'm going to jack off man!


Oba- (laughing loudly) JACK OFF! JACK OFF!


Garrett- Shit! Fucking retard!


Hailies- Get away from the fucking door! I'll fuck you later, Garrett. I'm busy! *Goes back to sucking Alex


Alex- Yeah, she's busy! Busy sucking my sausage!


Garrett- Wait till Jo and Wegie get back! I'm gonna fucking tell!


Hailies- Fuck Jo! She's busy fucking Angel! Like always.


Armaan- Fuck You, Garrett!


*Meanwhile, Outside..


Lauryn- (bursts into tears) This is one of those days, James! Sometimes I think I'm going to lose it.


James- I don't know how you keep them kids in line. I couldn't do it. It is so noble of you to watch after the troubled teens you do.


Lauryn- Wegie helps all he can! But I still feel like I'm getting the brunt of it.


James- Just think about what you do accomplish with them. Think of when they first came to you.


Lauryn- Oh, that was so long ago. First there was Garrett. poor thing was getting beat to death. He has so many anger issues and the Ritalin isn't helping matters. And Jo- I cant imagine growing up into child prostitution. And Hailies- noone should have to have seen what that girl has! And Oba- left in a trash can by his crackhead mother. He can barely process a coherent thought most days. And Alex- poor Alex- he stills feels responsible for his mothers death. And of course, Armaan. My little brother has adjusted better than most could since our parents died. And now Im watching Harley here. (harley is sleeping). I hope Ryan wises up and leaves that bitch one day. I would call child protective services but I dont want him to lose her. He takes such good care of her. Her mom dont even seem to care about her. She didn't even want to name her you know! I can't imagine a mother not wanting to name her own child.


James- It is pretty tragic. Have you had any luck with the tests?


Lauryn- Not yet. I just spend so much money trying to beat nature. I'll never have children of my own, James. I just got the ones in there and I hope I dont fuck em up.


James- I'm sure you'll be alright, darling!


Lauryn- Glad someone has faith in me! (hugs james) I will miss you so bad!


James- I will miss you too. Take care, Lauryn!


Garrett- (opens door) Hey Lauryn! You might wanna see what's going on in the bedroom?


Lauryn- WHAT? (to james) I gotta go!


*From inside house


Hailies- Oh that fuckers gonna get it! Get your fucking halos on everybody!


Armaan- I hate that little cum stain!


*They get dressed quickly. Oba laughs outside!






************ LAST COMMERCIAL**************






*James stands outside of Apt. 8. He looks around and notices Glenn arriving at Aunties. He thinks to himself "I dont live there anymore". Knocks on 8.


*Ben opens the door, whittling wood. His huge Saint Bernard sleeps in the corner.


Ben- Yeah?


James- I just wanted to tell you I was leaving, Ben!


Ben- Want some coffee?


James- I'm actually a bit behind, Ben!


Ben- Fine! You dont have to. (looks sullen)


James- (reluctantly) I guess one more cup of coffee couldn't hurt!


*He goes inside. He has always been creeped out by all the animal heads on Ben's walls. He always kept a distance from Ben.


Ben- I don't have no creamer. You'll have to have it black.


James- That is just fine, Ben!


Ben- So how has your last day been?


James- I've almost covered all the bases. My flight leaves in three hours. Just got a few more things to tend to and I'm off.


Ben- So, three hours!


James- I still haven't properly apologized for last Saturday.


Ben- (Abruptly loud) DONT WORRY ABOUT IT!


James- I'm sorry. Didn't mean to touch a nerve. (Watches him whittle faster)


Ben- (calmer) No big thing.


James- So how are things working out with that Hila girl?


Ben- As well as can be expected I guess.


James- That's good. Could I use your restroom?


Ben- Sure! Its' back down the hall to the right.


James- Yes, I know.


Ben- (under breath) Why did you ask then?


*James goes back to the bathroom, thinking how to leave quicker. He sees a bloody rag in the bathtub.


James- (to self) Let's not focus too much on that!


*He sees a pill bottle opened on the floor, pills strung about


*He pees and leaves promptly


Ben- (in hallway when he comes out) Everything come out okay?


James- Yes! But I do need to leave, Ben!


Ben- What about your coffee?


James- (noticing some witchcraft books in the bedroom and burning candles) I really have to get going. I could miss my flight.


Ben- Noone would want that, would they? (Handling his knife)


James- (nervously) I'm going to miss you Ben! Take care of yourself! (Practically runs to the front door)


Ben- Be careful, James. Dangerous world out there!


James- Indeed. Goodbye. (walks out door and is startled by Lin as ben closes the door)


James- (startled) Son of a...


Lin- (giggling) Sorry James! I haven't seen someone jump that high since France tried my newest vibrator. I was looking around for you. I just got back and saw Greta outside. She said you were saying your goodbyes.


James- Yeah! I'm sorry but Ben always makes me nervous. Afraid to talk to him but even more afraid of evicitng him!


Lin- He is a scary one! I really wanna fuck him sometime! (licks lips)


James- Be careful, Lin!


Lin- Sorry about France earlier. I heard! Umm..best I can say is you're leaving now. I dont think there is anything more the two of you could do to repair this. Some things are best left unbothered. France has been unstable on this new medication anyway. It's a bitch looking after her and she is SUCH A SLOB! But I love her! So much fun to party with- on the right meds anyway! (Giggles)


James- Well, Lin. I must say goodbye to JD before I part.


Lin- Did everything work out alright with him?


James- Oh (startled again) Water under the bridge as they say! (as Lin starts to walk off saying "bye") Oh..and Qb was looking for you. New shipment!


Lin- Shit! I almost forgot. Duty calls. And I gotta piss like a fucking racehorse. I tell you when you're on your period, sometimes you aint so sure whats got ya wet! (Giggles)


James- (disgusted) Bye Lin! I'll miss you!


Lin- Bye Jamesy! (runs inside holding crotch)


*James rolls head and walks over, breathing heavily, and opens JD's door, seeing a girl in the window!!


JD- James!


James- (slamming door, punches JD) What the hell are they doing out in the open! I fucking told you that I was only doing for this if it were SAFE!


Hell- (cowering) I was just looking out the window!


James- YEAH! Well what if someone saw you?


JD- (holding chin) Ouch! God! They'd probably just think it was some slut Angel or I were fucking.


James- NO FUCK UPS! And just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I am not collecting extra payment for this inconvenience. I still own this goddamn place!


JD- Taken care of, man! I won't let you down!


Liv- (coming from bedroom) (sees James and gets sour look on her face) Oh, hi!


James- I heard Angel was back today! The whole fucking complex could hear him hollering.


JD- Yeah, he understands everything. It's all good!


James- If the cops knew I had two runaways stowed up in here, my ass would be behind bars- and so would yours!


Liv- Don't fucking worry about it!!


James- (getting angrier) OH I WILL WORRY ABOUT IT, BITCH! This is my life too! And I want a change! And dont you worry I already have someone looking over things. All it takes is one phone call and Hell's mother Liria will be notified and so will the cops about Liv, the goddamn girl who murdered her parents.


Liv- That isn't proven, asshole! I didnt do it!


James- All I have to do is look at you and I know what you are.


JD- (slightly angry) Just leave us be James! (calmer) It'll all be alright!


Angel- (walking out naked) What's all the hollering dude? (Jo is behind him, naked as well.)


James- We're just having a discussion.


Angel- Oh..right! Well we'll get back to fucking then! (Laughs)


Jo- (laughing wildly, grabs him by the cock) Come on, Angelito! Fuck me!


*they leave


James- What the hell kinda place am I running here?


JD- Dude, it's all good. You're gonna miss your flight.


James- Just so all of you know, I'll still be watching after I'm gone!


*JD's cell phone rings. When he sees the number, he goes off for the bedroom saying "Bye James"


James- (to Hell) I think your Mom's a great gal. You shouldn't have left..especially for this whorehosue.


*Liv leaves the room, huffing.


Hell- But Liria doesn't love me. She is not my mother to me. She is Liria. Thats all! JD loves me. He really cares about me. Thats all that matters!


James- Jd cares for whatever gets his dick hard! Thats all!


Hell- Thanks for thinking of me but I can handle myself. I'm resilient.


James- Aren't we all? Tell JD I am watching him. With that, I'm leaving. Make sure I get my extra hush money or I may get a loose tongue. (Watches her as he leaves.)


Liv- (Back out after he leaves) Thank God that fat son-of-a-bitch is gone! Where's JD?


Hell- He went back to the bedroom.


Liv- Well. I'm going out a few minutes. I'll call you when I'm coming back. Tell him I went to bed and lock my door.


Hell- But Liv!


Liv- Don't fucking worry about it Helen! Just sit there and be a good girl. I'll be back.


*Watches to see if James is gone. She sees him go into Auntie's and sneaks out.


*After a minute, JD comes back out.


JD- I gotta go for a bit. Wheres Liv?


Hell- She went to bed.


JD- Well I'll be gone a little while. Don't wait up!


Hell- (let down) Oh, Ok!


JD- (smiling lasciviously) Don't worry! I'll come home and sleep with you tonight, baby! I love those little tits of yours. Fit nicely in my mouth. (Winks)


Hell- (happier) OK, JD! Have fun!


JD- I always do! I'm gonna have some EXTRA fun tonight. (laughs to self)


*Jd leaves


MEANWHILE- Ryan goes to take the trash out, sees Em in the pool, pretends not to notice. He glances over at Aunties and thinks he sees someone fall in the window. Keeps walking


*Bryan looks out at the streets, a tear falls down his cheek, he says to self "Goodbye, James. My only friend".




MEANWHILE- JD goes around the corner to his car and meets up with a handsome young man.


Wout- Hey sexy! Did anyone suspect anything?


JD- No, them little girls are clueless. Gotta love em! Now lets get to a fucking hotel room. I need your cock up my ass SOON!


Wout- My cock lives for your ass!!


*Jd grabs Wouts crotch and tongues his mouth


Wout- I got the room already! Lets just go in your car. I'll leave mine here!


JD- OK!


*They drive off.


James- (waiting for a taxi outside) When is this damn thing coming?


Ryan- (who sees James) Hey James! Still here?


James- Hi Ryan! Damn taxi is late. I hope I am making the right decisions.


Ryan- I always thought of you as the most clear-headed person here. You'll do the right thing.


James- I aint as good a guy as you think, Ryan!


Ryan- I don't believe that. You are the best friend I've had this year.


James- I appreciate that, Ryan. You're a helluva guy yourself. I hope you make all the right decisions too.


Ryan- I will James! I promise! Take care of yourself, please! I gotta go get Harley at Lauryn's. This is my only peace of the day really.


James- And you enjoy it, my friend. Keep that number. Remember I'm there for ya!


Ryan- (hugs James) See ya! (walks off, head down)


James- (seeing car ahead) Finally- this must be the fucking taxi!!


*Fade to black


*Scene comes back up, two hours later


*Jd and WOut pull up. Wout kisses JD goodnight.


JD- See ya. lover!


*As he walks off, Wout sees he left his watch in the car.


MEANWHILE- Auntie, Glenn, Nick carry a man wrapped in bandages downstairs to the cellar.


Nick- Who the fuck is this guy?


Auntie- (Kicking the man) A fair weathred friend! Help me goddammit!


Man In Bandages- Somebody help me please! I can pay you.


Auntie- Shut the hell up! *Kicks him down the stairs This can be easy or VERY HARD!


Glenn- Be easy, would ya?


Auntie- None of your damn concern Glenn!


Nick- Shit! I forgot the garbage bags Auntie!


Auntie- Sonofabitch! Well go get them! Dont stand there!


*Nick goes off.


Glenn- So where did you go talking to James earlier?


Auntie- Tying up some last minute dealings. Don't worry about it Glenn!


*After a moment, Nick runs back in!


Nick- Holy fuck Auntie!


Auntie- What??


Nick- There's a...a..


Auntie- What, jackass??


Nick- There's a body in your front seat.


Glenn- What?


Nick- Ummm..Its James!


Auntie- FUCK! Someone is onto us.


Glenn- (looking over at Auntie) What happened?


Auntie- Well how the fuck should I know Glenn?


Nick- What do we do?


Auntie- Well, my sister has a cremetorium. Let's go see the cunt!


Nick- (Laughs) Alright!


Auntie- Glenn, you stay here and watch HIM!


Glenn- Alright then!


MEANWHILE-


JD- Thanks Wout! That watch means everything to me. Thanks for catching me, lover! *Licks him


Wout- You love me dont you?


JD- Of course I do!


*Jd leaves for the apartment just as Liv sneaks in on time


*As Wout walks out to car, he notices Auntie and Nick (the gardener he thinks is cute) leaving in a car with what looks like a mannequin- a big one!


-INSIDE THE CAR-


Nick- So how far away is your sisters?


Auntie- Just drive straight. I need this taken care of and SOON!


Nick- This complex is so fucked up.


Auntie- Yes- I feel as if I will be right at home here!


*cuts to shot of James dead body




*ENDING CREDITS PLAY (THE END)


*I will have a new episode up in TWO WEEKS. After that, it will be every week till seasons end!


THANKS EVERYBODY!

I liked it a lot. not one of my favorites, but still a good beginning to a great series.

Heh, I was rereading this.

I forgot Wout used to be my lovarrr. Glad that's over <<

Now i'm sure Liv did it <<

She's THA KILLAH!

So, when's your lazy ass posting the second episode? <<

Man vs Wild wrote:So, when's your lazy ass posting the second episode? <<

The next day you see one, you will see the rest the same day.

Finally read ep1.

Quite nimkpressed. Seems to have set the seen well. As James died already, I can forgive tyhe spolier.

someone needs a spelling check

I finally got around to reading this. Yay!!

It's quite intriguing, I must say.

It's like a dirtier version of Melrose Place.

Glad you like. 2nd on gets better. Here i was just feeling things out.